The government and the media keep telling us to prolong our lives: quit smoking, exercise, eat right, get a cat and a dog, get married, quit renting, quit driving fast (fly, don’t drive), have two drinks a day, don’t drink, take a multivitamin, don’t take a multivitamin, drink green tea, drink coffee (they say it prevents liver cancer), get a flu shot, walk, run, take a nap, take a bus, work hard, save, save, save, invest, invest, invest, you get what you deserve . . .

One of my doctors said, “It seems they are saying we are supposed to live forever.”

Yeah, feel guilty for not trying to live forever. That way you won’t mope around about the fact that the rich keep working you harder, that your job keeps stressing you out . . . Maybe you’ll forget that stress kills.

That’s how the rich get richer — the government, the media, the tycoons. They hand you infectious fantasies and psychotic beliefs. They keep you real busy working at getting real old.

(I say get rid of the cigars. Avoid stress, exercise, eat right.)